This is a must read. It’s an interesting point of view from “the other side.” After reading it, I’ve been pierced with a little bit of guilt and think I’ll write a letter to the cop who arrested my ex. The guy was young, good looking, and cocky. The kind of guy you just hate as soon as you see him walking up. He seemed to think he’s God’s gift to aviators. This young deputy was especially full of attitude the day R got arrested because he was from Texas, enter tons of machismo, and the son of a single mother, an abused woman. He personally had a passionate hatred for abusers.
I didn’t appreciate him.
I was stressed. I was scared. I was shell shocked. And, I just didn’t see that God was using Deputy Cocky to plant seeds in me.
I recall him telling me that R didn’t have the right to so much as point his finger at me. Did I understand that? Did I understand that? I wanted to scream at him that day, “Just because I ‘let’ him beat me doesn’t mean I’m stupid!” He droned on and on about domestic violence and men being stronger and bigger than women and how no man should ever present himself aggressively to a woman. I just wanted to leave. I wanted to take my two teenage sons to work, even though one had just been punched in the nose by R, and I wanted to get away from that scene. I wanted it to all go away. And, his presentation was occurring while my children sat in the van staring at their father in handcuffs. All the while everyone in our community was driving past and staring at the two sheriff’s cars and my husband standing at the bottom of our driveway. I was humiliated. I didn’t want this memory for my children.
But, Deputy Cocky had a point. He had a lot of good points.
I tried after that. I really did. I took R back. I worked on our marriage. I worked on being a better, more protective mother. But, every time R got aggressive or angry I could see that young man standing there saying, “He can’t so much as point a finger at you. Do you understand that?”
I heard through the rumor mill that he was later fired. Apparently he was a little too passionate about his work, and people, probably people like me, complained about him. The sheriff, whom I love and admire, felt the young deputy needed more training. He was sent off for more training, but it didn’t temper the guy. He eventually lost his job.
That’s unfortunate. I think he’s just the kind of cop who would have eventually grown to be a tremendous asset to a department. He cared. And, he obviously had a heart for justice.
I wish I could thank him now.