Would a rose by any other name still smell as sweet?
Grandma used to say, “Call an ace an ace and a spade a spade.” My dad constantly chastised us, “Say what you mean, and mean what you say!”
What’s in a name or word anyway? We name our children based upon what’s currently popular or whether or not we like the sound of it. Perhaps, we name them after someone we admire or like. Or, in honor of the deceased. Does it matter what tag we place on people and things?
How deep is the meaning of words? How much do designations contribute to our understanding? Is it really that important how we reference abuse?
The world of psychology and some abuse circles refer to narcissistic abuse, to which I must ask: Is there any other kind?
Psychology defines narcissism as extreme selfishness, with a grandiose view of one’s own talents and a craving for admiration, as characterizing a personality type.
dictionary.reference.com gives this definition of pride:
I’m admittedly not familiar with the page I’m about to link to, but I liked what they had to say about pride.
And, Ezekiel 16:49 and 50 state, “Behold, this was the iniquity of thy sister Sodom, pride, fulness of bread, and abundance of idleness was in her and in her daughters, neither did she strengthen the hand of the poor and needy. And they were haughty, and committed abomination before me: therefore I took them away as I saw good.”
Pride is the original sin. It’s the reason God utterly destroyed Sodom, and He felt that action was good. It’s why He created Hell for the devil and his fallen angels.
It’s why an abuser abuses.
I say that abusers don’t abuse because they were abused as children. Some were. But, some weren’t. And, many people who were abused as children don’t grow up to abuse others. There’s fault in that reasoning.
The old “wounded people wound” is a lie in my opinion. I think it’s a lie straight from the pit of hell, manufactured to get people to feel sorry for the perpetrator instead of holding him/her accountable for their actions. In my experience, wounded people “allow” others to continue to wound them because they believe that’s what they deserve. How can a Christian ever give abuse the adjective of narcissistic and then deny abuse stems from willful pride and instead claim they’re just innocently acting out what they were taught?
Paul makes it very clear in I Corinthians 5 how the church should deal with unrepentant sin among its members. Jesus commended the church at Ephesus for their labor, their patience, and how they could not bear them which are evil. After He let them know what it was that he had somewhat against them, He commended them a second time. This time, for having a hatred for the deeds of the Nicolaitans, as He also hates. Meanwhile, he sent a warning to the church at Thyatira for permitting Jezebel to teach her apostasies.
Abuse isn’t a disease. It isn’t a character disorder. It’s wickedness. I’m going to call it what it is. By any other name it still stinks, but it is evil metered out on those around them because of their self-perceived grandiosity and self-proclaimed rights to elevated treatment. Those who abuse are following in the footsteps of their father, the serpent, the devil. They don’t need the tender loving care and understanding of the church. Their victims do. Abusers need discipline! Wickedness requires discipline!