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Today is Valentine’s Day. Not a single card, flower, or piece of chocolate. No sweet messages of love for me. I’m alone. Sitting in my old bathrobe, sipping the coffee I just made, in front of the fire I started. Alone.
I went to a Jonny Lang concert Friday night. Alone. I bought a single ticket before Christmas. And, I walked in there Friday night all by my lonesome. While couples and groups chatted and laughed and hugged, waiting for the show to start, I sat and worked on my book.
My seat was dead center, six rows back in the intimate little venue. I actually made eye contact with Jonny twice. Squeal! Once was while we were all singing in unison, “Everything’s Gonna be alright.” Now, concerts can be almost spiritual–it’s a strange thing–but he had us sing that over and over and over again until I think every soul in there believed it. Perhaps that was his purpose. But, when he looked at me and sang those words as I was singing them, they penetrated my spirit.
The couple next to me included me in their conversation and kept offering to buy me drinks. We hugged when I left, and the woman told me we’ll all get the same seats next year so that I’ll never have to be alone at one of Jonny’s shows.
Yesterday I spent the afternoon and evening buying and delivering Valentine’s for my kids and grandkids. As I walked into one store, a darling toddler with a crop of dark, wavy hair caught my eye. He’d gotten away from his mother and was reaching for the sliding door. I gasped. That cute little guy was going to get his fingers caught!
His mama was quicker than he was though and grabbed him away just in time. As she stood up I realized that’s my grandson’s mother! It was then that I noticed my 4 year old grandson had kept walking out the door as his mother struggled with his brother. I froze and beamed, waiting for him to notice me.
He did. He yelled my name and came running, arms out. He hugged me over and over again, telling strangers that walked past, “That’s MY grandma!”
After they left, his mama sent me a video text of him telling me he loves me.
My final stop was my daughter’s house. She breaks my heart on a weekly basis, but she has valiantly birthed two little girls who don’t see me through her eyes. The loose afro bounced as my granddaughter came to me. That bear hug must have taken every once of strength a 2 year old could muster! She rubbed my hair.
We’d been exchanging texts earlier in the day. My daughter would read mine to my granddaughter, and she would record voice messages to me…….”I love you, Nammy.” These hugs were the culmination of our verbal love fest that morning. We’d both been looking forward to seeing each other all day.
Her baby sister cooed and “talked” back to me, smiling, and opening her mouth, asking for kisses.
So, I’m alone on Valentine’s Day. In a cold house. With nothing but what I make for myself. Yet, I’m bathed in a sense that “Everything’s gonna be alright.”
Everything’s gonna be alright.
Thank you, Jonny. Thank you, strangers I sat next to. Thank you, my sweet grand babies. Thank you, Lord.
Everything’s gonna be alright. Everything’s gonna be alright. Everything’s gonna be alright……
Happy Valentine’s Day
Just Me With . . . said:
Lovely.
anewfreelife said:
Thank you. ❤
cindy burrell said:
What a sweet post. It seems to me you have more Valentines than you realized.
And I hope you will let your followers know when your book is complete! I enjoy your writing very much…
anewfreelife said:
Ohhhhhhh, thank you so very much. As slow as I’m going at it, it will probably be many years. LOL. But, most definitely you will all be the first to know. 🙂
caroline abbott said:
Aren’t grand babies wonderful? We have two living with us right now. Nothing sweeter!
anewfreelife said:
They are! Even when my kids are kind to me, there’s always this undercurrent of disapproval from them. ….. I’ve failed them, haven’t done enough for them. Grandkids just love you. Purely and wholly. They just love. You’re so right, there is nothing sweeter! 🙂
Anon said:
I wish you would have kept writing. It helped.
anewfreelife said:
I’m so sorry! I’ll be back. My computer died, and I haven’t been able to afford to replace it yet.
Brian said:
We have replaced our laptops with inexpensive chromebooks. We find them on ebay like brand new for $75-$130. No viruses, easy updates, customizable, really hard to mess up. Of course, not really compatible with most software out there, but for internet and most other functions they are just fine. If you would like one let us know.
anewfreelife said:
Thank you! A friend’s husband found a computer at an estate sale, went thru it, and recently gave it to me. I haven’t used it much yet, but I’m eager to get back on top of things.